GQ talked to 40 individuals about why they waited.
Being truly a virgin later on in life may be, possibly first and foremost things, an incredibly isolating experience. It is not only a highly stigmatizing label—only strengthened by news site tropes that suggest that older virgins are only punchlines—it’s also seldom talked about freely, truthfully, or with any degree of compassion.
We chatted to about 40 individuals who stayed virgins until these were at the least 22 (5 years following the typical age of which Us citizens lose their virginity, in line with the CDC) to see just what it is choose to be considered a “late”-in-life virgin—why they waited, the hurdles they encountered, and just what intercourse ended up being like if they finally had it.
Needless to say, even asking individuals why they “waited” implies some degree of universal experience, some nonexistent “right time.” The reason why individuals provided for losing their virginity later on had been all around the map. Many people was raised in spiritual communities or schools that are single-sex which made intercourse more evasive or taboo. Other individuals felt unattractive or insecure growing up. Battles with wellness, intimate orientation, and sex dysphoria were additionally typical.
For pretty much each and every individual, the worry that is biggest wasn’t being great at intercourse, a really normal concern regardless of once you lose your virginity. The longer you wait, the greater experience prospective lovers most likely have actually—and that disparity can heap on more pressure. Individuals we talked with also exposed concerning the social stigma to be an adult virgin additionally the psychological cost it takes whenever you’re perhaps maybe not experiencing something which it feels as though most people are doing (and dealing with) on a regular basis.
GQ: therefore, why do you wait?
“I happened to be raised spiritual and Jewish, therefore no intercourse until wedding and hardly any organic discussion between the sexes, either.” —Daniel, 34, Philadelphia, PA